Heart, Body and Mind
by Queenbean3
Summary: A series of one-shot stories focusing on the lives of Ilana, Lance, and Octus as a group.
1. Roughing It

Author's Note: This story takes place during the time frame of the first episode "Escape to Sherman High". I found the jump from the heroes hiding out in a cave to their first day of school a bit jarring, so I decided to fill in the gaps somewhat. It was also sort of an exercise in getting used to writing for them. As with all fanfics, beware of spoilers!

* * *

Roughing It

Ilana smiled with bright, shiny eyes. "What a perfect hiding place!"

Lance looked at her with dismay. "You're joking, right?"

The two Galalunian teens were watching the visuals Octus had found of what high school on Earth was like. The scenes of what human teenagers did there had been rather disturbing to Lance, yet Ilana seemed to think the opposite. She didn't answer him when he asked if she was joking. Instead she looked at the images more closely and rubbed her chin in thought, studying the appearances of the Earthlings in the video.

"We need new clothes." Ilana said finally. "In order to disguise ourselves as humans, we must dress the way they do."

"Agreed." Octus said, his voice a flat, electronic monotone. "That building we visited earlier was a major retailer called Floor Mart. Among other things, they sell clothing there."

Lance's face fell. The princess wasn't joking, and the robot was going along with it. They were actually serious about this crazy plan, and it was up to him to stop it. "Hold on. If we go back to that place, the humans will panic. Didn't you hear how that woman screamed when she saw us?"

Octus shut off his video display then. Darkness fell inside the cave but the single optic lens in the robot's translucent body continued to glow, providing some muted light. As he addressed Lance, his light flickered with each word. "The human female's negative reaction was most likely due to the strangeness of my appearance. You and the princess resemble the Earthlings more closely, so it will be less difficult for you to assimilate with them."

Lance frowned and quickly came up with a rebuttal. "Well, even if we could get into this Floor Mart place, we don't have the money to buy anything there."

"That should not be a problem." Octus said, his tone exactly the same as before. "I believe I have the capability to fabricate the currency needed for purchasing goods on this world."

Ilana placed her hands on her hips, a satisfied smile on her freckled face. "Then it's settled! When morning comes, Lance and I will return to the Floor Mart retailer and purchase human disguises. After that, we can enter the local high school and look for a more comfortable residence in the village."

"We don't _need_ to look for a more comfortable residence." Lance retorted. "We're safer if we stay where we are."

Ilana frowned at him. "But if we stay here we can't blend in with the society. We're supposed to hide _among_ the humans, not _from_ them."

"Correct." Octus said. "Our mission is to assimilate with the Earthlings. We also have no way of knowing how long it will be before we can return to Galaluna. We must therefore be prepared to live on this planet for an extended period of time."

Lance glared at the robot and the princess. He still thought the plan was crazy, but he couldn't think of an argument that would change their minds. Ilana was clearly determined to go through with it, and Octus had sided with her as though it was all perfectly logical. Lance glared at Ilana a little longer. She glared back at him. At last he folded his arms over his chest. "Fine. We'll follow your plan in the morning, princess, but tonight we stay in here." He turned to address the robot. "Octus, you and I will take turns standing guard."

"There is no need." Octus replied. "My power level is high enough that I can stand guard throughout the night. You and the princess spent a good deal of energy in battle, so both of you should rest."

While her guardians talked, Ilana seated herself on the dirt floor near the back of the cave and huddled against the stone wall. She covered her mouth with one hand to stifle a yawn and realized that she was exhausted. This cave in the forest on this unfamiliar world was definitely not as comfortable as her royal chambers back home, but it would have to do for now.

Many hours later, Ilana awoke to the sound of birds chirping. She was cold and her muscles were sore, but she pushed herself up and pulled her fingers through her blonde hair to remove the bits of leaves and twigs stuck in it. She peered sleepily at her surroundings, and for an instant she didn't recognize where she was. Then she heard a familiar electronic voice nearby. "Good morning." A beam of sunlight was shining through a crack in the cave's ceiling and Octus was standing directly across from her. The robot had no face to show expression with, but his tone had sounded a bit more cheerful than usual.

Ilana raised herself into a sitting position and tried to give a cheerful response. "Good morning, Octus." As she stood and brushed some dirt from her dress, she glanced around and saw that the third member of their group was missing. "Where is Lance?"

"He has gone into the forest to search for food." Octus replied. "I am to keep watch over you until he returns."

"I see." Ilana said, frowning a bit. She could tolerate the robot's company more than the soldier's, but it still bothered her that he'd gone off on his own. "I hope he doesn't attack any humans again."

"Relax. I didn't." Ilana spun around in surprise. Somehow Lance had shown up at the cave's entrance without making any sound. His hair and uniform looked dirtier than before, and he was carrying a pair of small furry animals in one hand. He walked straight up to Octus and held the two little corpses out in front him. "Check if they're safe to eat."

The robot scanned them and had an answer in seconds. "These small mammalian organisms are called rabbits. And yes, they are safe to eat."

Ilana tried not to stare in disgust at the dead animals by focusing on Lance instead. "How did you manage to catch those things without any weapons? Didn't you lose your rifle last night?"

He looked at her with a smug expression. "Yeah, but I didn't need it for these." With his other hand he produced a small pocket knife. "We can cook them after I've removed their skins and organs."

She shuddered and started to move toward the cave's exit. "That's…nice. I'll just step outside while you're busy."

He blocked her path. His smugness had vanished without a trace and his steely eyed glare was back in full force. "You're not going out there by yourself."

Instead of getting annoyed with him, Ilana looked uncomfortable. "Please, Lance. This is important and I must do it alone. I promise it will only take a few minutes."

He arched a confused eyebrow. "What's so important that you can't do it in here with us?"

She started fidgeting and her freckled cheeks reddened. Then she gestured for him to lean down, cupped a hand around her mouth and whispered in his ear. "I need to powder my nose."

Octus could still hear what she said anyway with his heightened auditory receptors, but he didn't know what the euphemism meant. Judging from Lance's expression of surprise, however, the young soldier understood it immediately.

Trying not look flustered, he stepped out of Ilana's path. "Okay, go ahead. Just be quick about it." Without another word the princess hurried away from the cave and out of sight. Once she was gone Lance sat down on a boulder and began skinning one of his rabbits.

Octus had been watching the whole scene with confusion. When he spoke the feeling was evident in his voice. "Is it really a good idea to leave the princess unattended while she … powders her nose?"

Lance did not look up from his work. "Trust me. She doesn't need any attendance to do _that."_

The End


	2. Black Tie Affair

Author's Note: I actually wrote this chapter before the previous one because I had originally planned on using it for a longer school prom story. I changed my mind about that for three big reasons. One, I have a very busy schedule since I'm graduating college soon. Two, the high school setting means that the show will probably deal with a prom somehow in the future. And three, I know absolutely nothing about proms because I've never been to one. However, I know all too well what it's like to go shopping for fancy clothes, especially when you _really _don't want to. Now, on with the fic!

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Black Tie Affair

"Octus."

The robot, cloaked in the hologram of a large middle-aged man, turned his head toward the cubicle's door. "Lance, please call me 'dad' while I'm in this form."

There was a groan from inside the cubicle and the robot could clearly picture the young man inside rolling his eyes. "Whatever. Just answer something for me. Why do I have to wear this _thing?" _The door swung open, revealing a disgruntled Lance dressed in a black, white and red formal suit.

Octus sounded very much like the narrator of a science documentary as he spoke. "The Earthlings call it a tuxedo. It is part of the school dress code for male students attending formal dances."

"Yeah, yeah, I know all that. But I'm talking about _this."_ Lance pointed to a clip-on bowtie attached to his shirt collar. The tuxedo alone was enough to put him in a worse mood than usual, but this annoying accessory was pushing him dangerously close to his limits.

Octus's tone remained as calm and practical as before. "Ilana selected it for you."

Lance groaned again and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. It was bad enough that he had to wear this ridiculous outfit in the first place, but having the princess choose it for him was even worse. If his fellow soldiers on Galaluna ever found out, he'd never hear the end of it. He glowered darkly at his reflection in the dressing room mirror. The more he glared at the bowtie, the more he hated it. "It looks stupid."

Octus arched a brow. "The alternative is a garment called a necktie, but you should consult Ilana about that first."

Lance grumbled and tugged painfully at the suit's stiff and itchy collar. "What's taking her so long, anyway?"

Octus checked the time in his computer brain. It had been exactly thirty-seven minutes since the princess had sent them both to the men's dressing room and gone to the ladies' side. As her guardians, they should not be leaving her alone for so long. "Perhaps it's time we checked on her."

The shop they were in wasn't very big so it was a short walk to the other dressing room. Lance noticed that only one of the cubicles in here was occupied and pounded on the door with one fist. "Hey, Ilana! Is that you in there?"

Her voice called back in reply, accompanied by the rustling noises of fabric. "Oh, Lance! Did you try on the tuxedo yet?"

Lance rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, I'm wearing it now. What are you doing in there?"

More fabric rustled as she answered. "I'm trying dresses on, of course. I narrowed them down from six to three, but I can't decide which one I like better."

Octus sensed Lance's already thin patience growing thinner. It was time to help speed things along. "Ilana, perhaps if you showed us your dresses we could help you make a decision."

"Hmm, that might be a good idea." After some more rustling noises the door to Ilana's cubicle opened and she stepped out into their view. The dress she wore was sky blue with numerous tiny sequins sewn all over it. It had a skirt that reached almost to the floor, no sleeves and a very low neckline. Ilana smiled brightly and turned in a circle so they could see the dress from all sides. When she was facing them again her smile faded.

Octus's generally impassive face bore a look of surprise and Lance's usual brooding frown had turned into something very similar. The two of them stood there looking at Ilana in total silence. Then Lance jabbed a finger at her and shouted. "No! Absolutely not!"

She blinked in surprise. Then she frowned at him. "Why not?"

He found it difficult for his brain to make his mouth say the right words, so he compensated by waving his finger around more fiercely. "Just … Just no! You _can't_ wear that! It's all _wrong!"_

She placed her hands on her hips in irritation. She hated it when he lectured her and was tempted to buy the dress anyway just to spite him. _"What's_ wrong with it?"

Octus decided to mediate before the argument got worse. "I think what Lance he is attempting to say is that this particular dress is too …" He paused briefly as he searched for the most tactful word. "…Revealing. It could cause trouble if you wore it to the school dance."

Ilana's irritation reverted back to confusion. "What do you mean?"

"There will be a large number of hormonally active teenage boys present." Octus replied in his usual businesslike way. "Even with the two of us there to protect you, the chances of inappropriate conduct occurring are quite high."

Ilana considered Octus's words and tapped her chin pensively. She certainly wanted to get boys to notice her at the dance, but not in _that _sort of way. "You've got a good point. All right, I'll try another one."

After she disappeared to change her clothes, Lance shot Octus a dirty look. The disguised robot looked back at him with some confusion. "What?"

"Nothing." Lance leaned against the wall and tugged at his stiff collar in an effort to reduce his rising temperature. Octus had hit the nail on the head just a little too hard. Although Lance would never admit to it, seeing Ilana wearing anything that showed too much of her skin made him think about her body more than his job as her bodyguard. His mission was to protect her, which meant he couldn't allow anyone to think of her like that, including himself.

Moments later, Ilana emerged from her cubicle wearing a different dress. This one was hot pink and covered more of her upper body, but the hem of the skirt fell several inches above her knees and left her legs almost completely bare. Lance stared for a moment. Then he folded his arms, turned around, and did his best to keep his voice firm and steady. "Too short. Next."

With a roll of her eyes Ilana withdrew inside the cubicle again.

While she was changing, Octus watched Lance with some concern. After a long and uncomfortable silence he spoke. "Are you all right?"

Lance replied with a grunt and glared at a light switch on the wall in front of him.

Although Octus was a robot and had no hormones to speak of, he knew that both Lance and Ilana did and this fact worried him. It seemed the more time those two spent together, the more heated their relationship became. At this rate it would become even harder for them to pose as siblings than it already was.

After some more rustling noises, the door opened and Ilana came back out. "Here's the last one." She frowned at Lance's back, which was still turned toward her. "Well? Aren't you going to look so you can tell me what's wrong with it?"

Lance didn't move until Octus gave him a gentle nudge with his very large elbow. When he turned around he hardly noticed Ilana's frown. Her dress was a shade of pale lavender and was decorated with an embroidered floral pattern. The straps and neckline kept her upper half decently covered and the gauzy skirt floated out from her waist all the way down to the floor, keeping her legs completely hidden. So it was something other than her skin that wouldn't let him take his eyes off her.

Ilana's frown faded and her thin eyebrows twisted in confusion. Lance's expression had become difficult to read, so she made the only conclusion she could. Her shoulders drooped sullenly and her gaze sank to the floor. "Is it really that bad?"

Hearing her voice caused him to snap out of his trance and finally notice the dejected look on her face. Again it was difficult to make the words in his mind come out of his mouth. He lifted his hands in the hope that movement would help him communicate his thoughts more clearly. "No, it's not that bad! Uh…wait, I…I mean…"

Ilana looked back at him as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. She couldn't make sense of all his nervous stuttering and gesturing, and it was rare for him to act nervous at all. Finally he dropped his hands at his sides and stared at his shoes, trying to hide behind his long black bangs. "This…This dress is fine."

Her freckled face lit up with a smile. This was the closest Lance ever got to giving compliments. She turned to look at a mirror that showed her reflection from three different angles and adopted different poses to examine the dress from all sides. "It really is lovely, isn't it? It reminds me of the gowns I used to wear to the royal balls back home. That's reason enough to keep it!"

Octus looked from one teen to the other. Lance was staring at Ilana in silence with the same unreadable expression as before. He gave him another nudge and lowered his voice. "This would be a good time to discuss your bowtie."

Lance blinked a few times. "Huh? Oh, right." He tugged at the collar of his shirt and cleared his throat. "Um, Ilana? Do I really need to wear this bowtie thing?"

Ilana stopped admiring her reflection to take a closer look at Lance. She had been too concerned with her dresses before to notice how he looked in the tuxedo she'd picked for him. He was rather dashing in it, but she didn't want to embarrass him by saying so. Instead she focused on the bowtie he was complaining about. "Now that you mention it, it doesn't really suit you. I only chose it because it looked good on the mannequin."

Lance gladly yanked the annoying fashion accessory from of his neck. "Great. Can we go home now?"

Ilana smiled at him and nodded. She knew how much he hated to go shopping and that he wouldn't last much longer in this store full of fancy clothes. "Sure. Why don't you look for a necktie with Octus while I get changed? I'll meet you both at the cash register."

Lance was perfectly happy to comply with these orders and exited the ladies' dressing room. As he began fumbling with the tiny buttons of his shirt he turned to Octus. He couldn't help envying the robot's ability to project holograms of whatever clothing he wanted. He'd never have to try on another itchy suit again if he could do that.

"Now that the issue of Ilana's dress is settled," Octus said. "We should focus on obtaining a necktie that will complement the rest of your suit. She is very particular about matters of fashion."

"That reminds me." Lance said. "You're coming to the dance, too, right? What are _you_ gonna wear?"

Octus pointed to a mannequin clad in a suit with a color palette of brownish neutrals. "I was thinking of something similar to this."

Lance arched an eyebrow at it. "Even the bowtie?"

"Yes." Under his mustache, the straight line of Octus's mouth curved into a small smile. "Unlike you, I do not think they look stupid."

The End


	3. Surprise

Author's Note: It seems every SBT fan must deal with the famous 'snow globe' incident of Episode 2 in some way. I decided to do my own take on it here since it was a signficant part of the still forming relationship of Lance and Ilana. This is also the only story I plan to put here where Octus doesn't play a major role. The next one I have in mind will feature him more prominently, and hopefully it'll be entertaining.

* * *

Surprise

It was a quiet day in Sherman, Illinois. For Lance it was _too_ quiet. He was currently standing guard on the roof of the Lunis house like a surly teenage gargoyle, leaning against the chimney and gazing out at the peaceful suburb with a world-weary stare. Peaceful times like this meant he had nothing to do, and as a soldier trained for action doing nothing made him restless.

Octus, cloaked in the holographic disguise of Mr. Lunis, had stepped out on an errand to the mall, leaving Lance in charge of protecting the princess on his own. As soon as the robot left the house, Ilana said she had important business in the kitchen and she was not to be disturbed unless she called him. Lance only agreed to this because she promised not to leave the house. It had been around noon when she had shooed him outside. Judging from the position of the sun nearly an hour had passed since then. Whatever she was doing was taking a long time and he was starting to wonder what it was.

He stared down at the shingles beneath his boots, contemplating whether or not to investigate. She might be in trouble, but if she wasn't she'd get mad at him for breaking his promise not to come unless she called. For now he had to wait for something to happen. Every now and then he would hear the clattering sound of pots and pans or the whirr of some mixing appliance. He even heard her muttering quietly to herself, but her exact words were unclear. After a while nearly all of those noises stopped.

Suddenly there was a high-pitched beeping sound. Then Ilana's frantic voice was shouting something and the distinct odor of smoke was in the air. Lance did not wait for her to call him. In mere seconds he dashed from one end of the roof to the other, jumped over the edge and slid down the drainpipe to the backyard. He didn't bother using the door. The open window was faster. He dove in headfirst, landed on his hands and flipped to his feet.

Sure enough the kitchen was filled with smoke. The fan over the stove was turned on, adding to the noise of the alarm beeping on the ceiling. A coughing Ilana was wearing an apron and a pair of mitts on both hands. She had the oven door open but as soon as she saw him coming she closed it again. "Lance! What are you doing here? You were supposed to wait outside!"

"Are you crazy? There's a fire! Get out before you choke to death!" He didn't mean to yell but it was hard not to with the alarm screeching so loud.

Annoyed by the ear-piercing beeps, Lance snatched up the toaster and flung it at the ceiling. It smashed directly into the smoke alarm, effectively stopping its noise. After the toaster clattered to the floor the only sound came from the stove's fan, which was far more tolerable to listen to. He felt pretty good about solving the beeping problem until he saw the look on Ilana's face. Apparently breaking smoke alarms with toasters was high on her list of really stupid thing to do.

Lance gazed down at the broken pieces of plastic on the floor and scratched his head, obviously uncomfortable. "Um…Oops?"

Ilana just rolled her eyes and sighed. She coughed again and waved some smoke away from her face. Then she bent down and took two metal trays out of the oven. After she let them both clatter to the countertop_, _she removed her mitts and pushed open a window to let more smoke out. Lance got the distinct impression that she was in a pretty bad mood right now, so he wisely kept his mouth shut and stayed out of her way. Sliding his hands into his pockets, he leaned against the counter and noted that the kitchen was considerably messier than it usually was. There were broken egg shells lying around the sink and on the floor, a stack of dirty dishes and utensils covered in thick lumpy drops of dough, and a thin white layer of flour coated almost every surface.

Ilana was in a similar state of disarray. She had her sleeves rolled up past her elbows, her apron was covered with smudges of various colors, and her face was red and shiny with sweat. He couldn't remember ever seeing her sweat before. Then he looked at the contents of the two trays next to him. Both had six lumpy round things stuck there, and they were such a dark shade of brown that they were nearly black. They also smelled even smokier than the rest of the kitchen. Upon closer inspection, they started to look familiar. He looked toward Ilana again. She had turned the oven off and closed it, and was now searching for something in one of the drawers.

"Hey," he said a bit hesitantly. "Are these things supposed to be cookies?"

Ilana sighed again, pulled a spatula from the drawer, and began using it to scrape the blackened objects off one of the trays. She spoke through gritted teeth. "Yes. Barb gave me her recipe."

Lance frowned a bit at the woman's name. He wasn't especially fond of their chatty, nosy neighbor, but so far she was the only human friend they had. Even if Barb was slightly obnoxious and her shameless flirtations with Octus were weird, she was the first person to show the Lunis family real kindness when they came to the neighborhood. The one thing Lance really liked about her, though, was her food. Her cookies were pretty good, but if the ones here had been made with the same recipe something must have gone horribly wrong.

He looked at Ilana again. She was still chipping at the tray and paying no attention to him. He cleared his throat. "If you wanted Barb's cookies, why didn't you just ask her to make some?"

She grunted and finally managed to pry one of the black lumps loose. "I wanted to make them myself."

Lance's black brows twisted with confusion. "Why would you want to do that?"

It was a fair question. Ilana was a princess and never had to cook anything in her entire life. On Galaluna she'd grown up in a palace with professional chefs to feed her. Here on Earth it was Octus who prepared all the meals, unless they ordered delivery or went to a restaurant. So it didn't make sense for Ilana to take up cooking now, especially on a foreign planet with totally unfamiliar ingredients and appliances.

She levered another blackened cookie loose and paused to wipe her messy blonde bangs from her eyes, leaving sooty smudges on her forehead. Then she finally noticed the confusion on Lance's face. As she began to explain she attempted a smile and her tone became softer. "I did it because of the snow globe. That's what that glass ball with the little castle is called. You put it in my room, remember? Ever since you did that I felt like I owed you something, and this was supposed to be it."

Lance blinked at her, utterly stunned. The snow globe Ilana was talking about was from a furniture store at the mall, and leaving it in her room had been his way of trying to apologize for their disastrous first trip there. He hadn't expected anything in return for it, especially not something like this. Feeling uncomfortable again he looked down at the floor. It had been a good while since that day at the mall yet he still hadn't quite gotten over the guilt. She had been so happy there, but thanks to his rashness she could never go back.

Ilana wiped her sooty hands on the front of her messy apron and waited for Lance to make some sort of reply. He just stared in silence at some broken egg shells as though they were incredibly fascinating. Thinking he hadn't understood she heaved another tired sigh, took the tray from the counter and started scraping the burnt cookies into the trash bin. As each charred lump fell one after the other, her heart sank a bit more. Not only were the cookies a total failure, but so was the surprise of it. If only she hadn't set the oven timer for hours instead of minutes. She shouldn't have tried to do this on her own. It would have been better to ask Barb or Octus for help, but that wouldn't have been fair. No one had helped Lance get the snow globe for her.

Once the tray was empty Ilana set it next to the sink. Then she moved to pick up the second tray in order to dispose of the other batch, but Lance's hand caught it at the same time she did. Confused, she saw that his look of discomfort had hardened back into his familiar stern frown. For a moment she thought he was going to scold her for doing all this. Then he took the tray out of her hands, picked up one of the blackened cookies and crunched into it.

Ilana could hardly believe what she was seeing. When she was able to speak again the cookie was gone and he was starting on another. "Lance, what are you doing? You can't eat those, they're ruined."

He answered between bites. "Just because they're overcooked doesn't mean they're ruined. Besides, you've got enough dough left to make more." Before taking another bite from the cookie he paused. "You know what? These would go great with some milk."

As he walked to the refrigerator, Ilana smiled. Lance might not admit to it, but he was full of surprises. Next time, though, she would be more careful about surprising him. She couldn't have him breaking any more smoke alarms with toasters.

The End


	4. Just Friends

Author's Note: When I realized I hadn't written anything with our heroes at school yet, this was the first idea that popped into my head. It was pretty fun to write. Hope you guys like it!

* * *

Just Friends

The cafeteria of Sherman High School bustled with chattering students. Some were standing in line to receive their meals but most of them were seated at their preferred tables with their preferred people. One such table had only two occupants and both of them were inspecting the contents of their trays as though they had fallen out of the sky.

Princess Ilana, better known to her Earthling classmates as Ilana Lunis, poked at a tough, grayish lump on her tray with her fork and wrinkled her eyebrows suspiciously. She looked up at the large, spectacled boy sitting next to her. "Um, Newton, do you have any idea what's in this so-called Mystery Meat?"

Newton, who was really the robot Octus disguised as a human teenager, had been staring blankly at his tray until now. He looked at the girl at his side with a totally straight face. Thanks to his scanners he knew exactly what was in the food and it was not very pleasant. "I'm afraid that if I tell you it would spoil the mystery."

This statement did nothing to ease Ilana's doubts. Then something else caught her attention. A group of five girls was sitting at the table directly across from theirs and all of them were staring at her. As soon as they saw her looking they all turned toward each other and started whispering as if she wasn't there.

Octus was also looking at the table of whispering girls with just the slightest hint of a frown on his face. He leaned down somewhat and lowered his voice. "They've been watching us ever since we sat down."

Ilana frowned at the girls' backs. She'd grown used to getting stares from the other students at times, but it was whispering that really bothered her. "Can you hear what they're saying?" she asked Octus, her voice also lower.

"Yes, but not very well." His frown seemed to grow harder. "There's too much noise from the other students for me to make out the details of their discussion, but they are definitely talking about you and me."

Ilana's expression became worried. That couldn't be good. It was a slight possibility, but those girls could be suspicious of them. If any of the other students came close to learning who they really were there would be no end of trouble. "Do you think they're onto us?" she whispered.

"I'll try listening more closely." Octus looked at the girls again and adjusted his hearing a bit more. After a moment of silence he spoke again. "That's strange. Now the only person they're talking about is Lance."

Ilana couldn't help smiling a little at this and her worries about their cover being blown faded. "That's because he's coming this way."

Octus looked in the direction she was pointing and saw that this was true. Lance was carrying a plastic tray of food and walking through the crowded room toward them. A few voices from other tables called out to him but he ignored them entirely. This was nothing unusual. Even though he was very popular at school, he had no desire to sit with anyone but Ilana and Octus during lunch period.

Lance sat down without saying a word and started eating the food in front of him, unbothered by its taste or lack thereof. This was also not unusual. He was a soldier so he was accustomed to army rations and other unpleasant forms of nourishment. Then he looked at the two people sitting in front of him and made a noise that sounded a lot like snickering.

Both Ilana and Octus exchanged looks of confusion. They had just gotten used to seeing the moody soldier grace them with an occasional smile, and now he was almost laughing. This was _definitely_ unusual.

"Um, Lance?" Ilana said, wondering if she had imagined it. "Are you okay?"

He swallowed the food in his mouth before answering. Now he was wearing an expression that was undeniably a smirk. "Yeah."

Octus regarded him with more than a little curiosity. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He pushed a straw into the opening of his milk carton, still wearing the same mysterious smirk on his face. When he looked at them again he made the same snickering sound a bit louder than before.

This time Ilana was sure she hadn't imagined it. Not only was he holding back laughter, but he was hiding something from them. She frowned and folded her arms over her chest. "Okay, what's going on?"

His smirk was now on the verge of breaking into a grin. "Maybe that's what I should be asking _you_ guys."

Again Ilana and Octus exchanged nearly identical looks of confusion. When they looked back at Lance he was casually drinking from his milk carton as if everything was perfectly normal.

Octus's face began to show the slightest hint of annoyance. It was now obvious that Lance was withholding information. "What are you talking about?"

The smirk on Lance's face turned from casual to mischievous. "You _really_ want to know?"

Ilana smacked her hand on the tabletop impatiently. "Of course we want to know! Come on, out with it!"

He raised his hands in a gesture of mock surrender. "Okay, relax! If you want to know that badly, I'll tell you." He paused briefly, savoring his absolute power over the conversation. "It was in the locker room after gym class. Some of the guys started bugging me if I was dating anyone. I said it was none of their business, but then one guy said something weird."

He paused again in order to build the suspense. Octus's seemingly endless patience started wearing thing. "Well? What did he say?"

Lance's already mischievous smirk seemed to grow even more mischievous. "He said that it was weird for me to be single while my sister was dating someone."

The sister he was talking about was obviously Ilana but to the best of her knowledge she was just as single as he was. "Dating?" she echoed, arching a confused eyebrow. "Who am I supposed to be dating?"

Still wearing that annoyingly smug smirk, Lance raised one finger and pointed with it. It was aimed straight at Octus. He and Ilana stared in confused silence for a moment. Then they looked at each other and suddenly everything clicked into place. The whispering girls, Lance's snickering, the comment from the locker room, all of it meant the same thing.

Octus's eyebrows climbed higher up his forehead. Ilana's eyes grew so wide that they took up nearly half of her face. Then she jumped up, smacked both her hands the table and leaned over it to shout at Lance. "What? That's not true! Please tell me you told him it's not true!"

At the moment Lance couldn't say anything at all because he could barely breathe. He was rapidly losing control of the laughter he'd been holding back, and if it wasn't for the uncharacteristic grin he was trying to cover up one could easily think he was choking.

Sinking back down into her seat beside Octus, Ilana propped her elbows on the table and gripped her skull between her hands. "This is ridiculous…Why would anyone think that about us?"

Octus hesitated to answer her question. "Actually, now that I think about it…It makes some sense."

She looked at him incredulously. "What?"

Octus looked down at his lunch tray and twisted his plastic fork between his fingers awkwardly. Although he didn't feel all that calm himself, he hoped explaining would calm Ilana down. "Well…To the humans, members of the opposite sex who spend a lot of time together are usually a couple. Everyone here believes that you and Lance are siblings, and when you're not with him you're with me. And since dating between siblings is inappropriate…" He trailed off, hoping he wouldn't have to explain the rest.

Ilana wasn't the least bit calmed by this news and started tugging at her hair in frustration. If what Octus said was true, then everyone in the whole school must think they were a couple. It might not have been so bad if Octus was a normal boy but there was nothing normal about him. On top of being a robot he had a second alter-ego as her father. If dating between siblings was wrong, then dating a parent was a thousand times worse.

"I don't believe this…" Ilana groaned. "We're not a couple, we're just friends! It's not true that we're dating! We never have and never will!" Then she paused and turned apologetic, afraid she might have hurt Octus's feelings. "Uh, that is…No offense …"

He gave a reassuring smile and shrugged his big shoulders. "None taken. In fact, the feeling's mutual. I'm curious about such relationships, but the idea of dating you has never crossed my mind."

Lance smirked deviously. By now he had regained enough composure to speak again, although he had to cover his mouth to keep his snickering from being heard by the rest of the cafeteria. "Oh, really? So who would you rather date instead? Is Barb starting to grow on you?"

Octus shuddered visibly at the thought. Dating Barb was even further from his mind than dating Ilana. From the first day they met their divorced neighbor, she had made it blatantly obvious that she would be glad to date the apparently single father of the Lunis siblings. However, he did not share her opinion in any way. Not wanting to discuss the matter any further, he looked down at his lunch and tried to pretend he was eating it.

Ilana wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or insulted by Octus's comment about not wanting to date her, but the sound of Lance snickering again was getting on her nerves. Then something dawned on her, and, smiling her most innocent of smiles, she prepared to dish out some sisterly payback.

"I see…" she said, clasping her hands under her chin and pretending to pick up the conversation where it had left off. "So, Newton, if people thought that _we_ were siblings, would they think I was dating Lance instead of you?"

Lance's snickering stopped suddenly. He stared at Ilana, his face turning pale. She simply continued smiling and waited for Octus to respond.

Octus sensed that she was up to something and decided to play along. He pondered her question for a moment. Then he spoke. "Yes, I suppose they would."

"Hmm." She took a casual sip from her milk carton. "It's a good thing they don't, then."

Lance frowned at her. He didn't really want people thinking he was dating Ilana, but he didn't like what she was implying, either. "Oh, yeah? And why is that?"

Ilana took another sip of milk. Then she nonchalantly pointed to the table behind him. "I wouldn't want to compete with your fans."

As soon as Lance looked over his shoulder, all five of the girls sitting at the table simultaneously broke out into a fit of manic, high-pitched giggling. The noise alone was enough to give him an instant migraine. Cringing, he turned back to his food and poked at it with his fork, wishing a Mutraddi beast would magically appear so he could forget all about girls for a while.

Seeing the confident soldier acting so insecure made Octus feel rather smug and prompted him to follow Ilana's lead in teasing him. "By the way, Lance." he said, his own mouth turning up into a smirk. "Why _are_ you still single?"

The five girls behind Lance were now debating with great excitement over which one of them he had supposedly been trying to look at. Groaning, he rubbed at one of his aching temples. "Don't get me started."

The End


	5. Heart Attack

Author's Note: This story is a little different than the others. I basically took a scene from "Escape to Sherman High" and tried to capture what must have been going through Ilana's mind at the time. For me this was the scene that really defined her character as a strong heroine. Maybe I'll do something like this for Lance and Octus in the future.

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Heart Attack

In the woods on a mountainside, fire trucks were gathered around a huge, smoldering crater. A news reporter was with them explaining to a camera what had happened. "This is Brick Jackson reporting live!" he said, loud enough to be heard over the noise of the sirens all around him. "Only moments ago an apparent meteor slammed down here on the outskirts of this quiet suburban town!" The reporter then reached out and caught one of the firefighters by the arm. "Joining me now is Fire Chief Tom O'Malley!"

The fire chief looked at the reporter with some surprise, but before he could say anything a pillar of fire burst up from the crater behind them. The camera followed the blazing pillar as it shot up into the sky and took on the shape of an enormous fiery giant. A flaming mouth opened and unleashed a deafening roar. Then the creature stood up on two legs, totally ignoring the tiny humans scurrying like frightened ants around its feet, and started walking down the hill.

The point of view quickly changed from the camera on the ground to a bird's eye view from a helicopter. The alien creature was massive, at least as tall as a building, and it was leaving a trail of thick black smoke in its path. The frantic voice of the reporter shouted on. "I can't believe what I'm seeing! Whatever it is, it is _huge,_ and it's heading for the city!"

In the cafeteria of Sherman High School, a small crowd of students was watching the scene unfold on TV. Earlier they had all been cheering when a cool new guy single-handedly defeated three huge jocks, but the cheering stopped when a flaming ball shot past the window and hit several miles away, shaking the entire building. Now everyone was staring at the screen in amazement. The image of a fiery alien being stomping down a mountain was extraordinary enough, but what was even more extraordinary was that it was all real. This was not a special effect in a science fiction movie. This was a live broadcast on one of the local news channels. Everything they were seeing was happening right here, right now.

Three students stood at the back of the crowd. Unlike the others, they knew exactly what the creature on the TV was and why it was here. One of them was the boy who had won the fight earlier and he was frowning at the screen with steely glare. Next to him was a large nerdy boy with a rather blank expression on his face. The third student was a blonde girl dressed in bright colors and her eyes were wide with shock.

For a moment they stared at the screen in silence. Then the girl spoke in a voice that was just loud enough for her two male companions to hear. "A Mutraddi mega beast." She turned to the nearest boy. "We have to do something!"

The boy's already stern frown turned grim. "We can't." He stepped closer to her in order to speak at a lower volume. "We're in hiding, remember?"

He would have said more, but a boy standing closer to the TV exclaimed. "Look at that!" The monster had reached the city and was stomping through the streets, knocking buildings over as it went. Other students gasped and murmured.

Ilana felt her stomach churn at the sight. "I know what my father ordered you to do," she said, turning back to Lance. "But that thing is here because of me." Her face hardened as she spoke, her voice rose in pitch and her usually formal language began to slip. "These people are gonna suffer because of me!"

Lance looked back at her with the same stern frown as before. "I understand," he said, his tone still hushed and serious. "But we have to remain hidden. If we attack, the Mutraddi will know we're here. They'll send more beasts, more soldiers. They won't stop."

Ilana frowned back at him. Just moments ago Lance had been fighting over the right to eat at a certain table. Now there was a real emergency and he was stubbornly refusing to do anything about it. What kind of soldier could stand by while innocent lives were at stake? No wonder he had such a bad reputation back home.

Octus, who had been standing by quietly all this time, finally spoke up. His demeanor was as cool and unemotional as a machine. "I am afraid I must concur with Lance. The risk is too great. We should let the Earth defend itself."

Ilana directed her frown at him. The robot was practically a stranger to her. She had never even met him before the king put them on the same spaceship. On top of that, he was a firsthand witness of the Earthlings' incompetence against extraterrestrial threats. If a whole squadron of soldiers with cannons and tanks couldn't take on two teenagers in powered suits of armor, how could they stand up to this single monstrous creature?

A loud noise drew their attention back to the TV. The fire beast had just crushed a building with one enormous foot. In that split second, Ilana's mind raced. Leaving Galaluna had not been her choice. Running away from the Mutraddi invaders had not been her choice. Abandoning her people when they were all in danger had not been her choice. Coming to a strange world with a soldier she didn't trust and a robot she didn't know had not been her choice. But this time she _did _have a choice, and it was not a pleasant one.

Clenching her fists at her sides, Ilana turned back to her guardians and spoke with determination. "I'm sorry. I _can't_ let this happen."

Then she whirled and ran for the doors. She could hear Lance shouting her name behind her, but his voice grew fainter as a new crowd of students flooded into the cafeteria. She kept running through the halls against the current of panicked humans until she reached a door with an exit sign. When she burst through it she found herself in an alley behind the school. Only then did she skid to a stop and look over her shoulder. Once she was sure that there was no one else around, she started running toward the street and reached for the golden band on her wrist. With the touch of a button and a flash of light she was encased in the Corus armor system. Firing the suits' jets, she launched herself from the ground and directed her flight toward the city.

As she flew further from the school, Ilana felt a small twinge of guilt over leaving her protectors behind. Her father wouldn't choose just anyone to guard her, so they must have meant well and known what they were doing. But she knew what she was doing, too. She knew the Mutraddi wanted her dead. She knew she didn't stand a chance against this huge monster even with the weapons and protection of her armor. She was flying into certain doom. But none of that mattered.

She would _not_ run away from her enemies. She would _not_ let innocent people die. Her heart would never allow it. Not this time. Not without a fight.

The End


	6. Bathroom Humor

Author's Note: Had this idea knocking around in my head for a while and just now got around to putting it into words. Basically, I'm operating under the assumption that Ilana and Lance have to share a bathroom at their house. Naturally this leads to a problem, and as usual Octus gets stuck in the middle of it. Enjoy! Oh, and P.S. If you want to leave a review, I'd prefer that you do it logged in. That way I can actually reply to it. Thanks!

* * *

Bathroom Humor

Octus awoke to the sound of screaming.

It was Ilana's voice and it was close. Not bothering to activate any disguise hologram, the robot burst from his room and into the hall. He headed toward the bathroom where the scream had come. The moment he reached the door it flew open and Lance crashed into him head first. Both robot and soldier lost their balance and fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

Just as Lance started to pick himself up a bar of soap struck him painfully on the back of his skull. "Ow!" he yelled, rubbing the sore spot and facing the open door of the bathroom. "What was _that_ for?"

"You _know_ what that was for, you jerk!" Ilana's voice screeched back.

When her form became visible in the doorway, Octus saw that she was dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel and a look of righteous indignation. In her hand she was wielding a plastic hairbrush like a weapon and would have probably struck Lance with it if she hadn't noticed Octus in time. Then her entire face burned red and she clutched her towel more tightly. Lance used her brief distraction to duck behind the robot. His transparent body made it a poor hiding spot, but it was enough to shield him in case the princess made any further attacks.

Now thoroughly confused, Octus turned to look at the soldier with his single optic lens. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Just keep her away from me!" Lance hissed back at him. "She's lost her mind!"

The damp, semi-nude Ilana growled and lifted her brush. Octus raised both hands defensively. "Um…Could someone please explain to me what's going on here?"

Taking a deep breath, Ilana lowered her brush and managed to regain enough composure to speak. "I was just getting out of the shower when…when _he_ came barging in!"

Lance bravely poked his head out from behind Octus's transparent shoulder. "I thought you were done! It's not _my_ fault you didn't lock the door!"

She jabbed the brush in his direction. "Haven't you ever heard of _knocking?_ You don't charge into a bathroom like it's an enemy fortress, especially when a lady is using it! What kind of manners did they teach you in military school?"

Bristling, Lance stepped completely out of hiding and thrust an angry finger at her. "Manners? Where were _your_ manners for the last two hours? Did you ever stop to think that maybe _I'd _like to take a shower this morning? No, of course not! Washing your hair is _so_ much more important!"

Octus made an electronic noise very much like a frustrated sigh. Why did he always get caught in the middle of these things? If he had known protecting the princess would involve mediating silly arguments between her and the equally immature soldier, he might have thought twice about accepting this whole mission. He couldn't get through to them the way they were carrying on now. It was time to take drastic measures.

In nanoseconds Octus found a familiar sound file in his databank and cranked up the volume to a level they could all hear. Suddenly the shouting was interrupted by a duet of cheerful high-pitched voices singing. "When you're fighting and not sharing, and nothing seems to work, it's time to put your heads together…and think of something good!"

Ilana and Lance fell silent and stared at Octus with absolute blankness. The robot folded his arms and would have frowned at them if he'd been wearing a face. The cheery tune played on.

Finally Lance drew his eyebrows together in confusion. "Uh…Octus, why are you playing that children's song again?"

"Because that is how you two are acting." the robot replied firmly.

Ilana also looked confused. "But…this situation doesn't have anything to do with teamwork."

"I know. I just wanted you two to stop yelling."

Both teens stared at him a little longer. Then they glanced at each other before fixing their gazes on the floor.

With a thought Octus shut the music off. Then he activated the hologram of his human father disguise and propped his fists on his hips in a very stern pose. "Ilana, lock the door next time. Lance, knock before going in. All right?"

Both Ilana and Lance nodded their heads.

"Good. Now get ready for school. I'm going to make breakfast."

The two teens grumbled but they obeyed. Ilana retreated to her room and Lance trudged into the bathroom. Satisfied, Octus walked downstairs to the kitchen. He tied on his apron, humming the cheery tune to himself. Cooking was one part of this parenting thing he really enjoyed and today he wanted to try out a recipe for a dish called pancakes. As he checked the refrigerator for milk and eggs, Octus heard the shower running and a radio playing upstairs.

Lance and Ilana would still be a bit grumpy when they came to eat, no doubt, but they would get over it soon enough. They still disagreed quite often but their fights were no longer as intense as they used to be. He had to give them some credit for that. If this whole bathroom situation had happened a few weeks ago it would have taken more than a song to fix it.

After mixing the dry ingredients in a bowl with a wooden spoon, Octus poured in the milk and cracked the eggs. So far, so good. Upstairs the water in the shower turned off and the radio played on. He was just reaching for the eggbeater when he heard more screams. Lance was first this time with Ilana following a split second later. There was some incoherent, nervous babbling from both. Then a door slammed and footsteps came running down the stairs.

A dry, fully dressed Ilana appeared in the kitchen. She was gasping and panting as though she'd been sprinting for her life, and the look on her face was that of someone who had just seen something terrible.

Octus looked at her quietly for a moment. Worried, he arched a brow. "What happened?"

Ilana slumped against a counter and swallowed a dry lump in her throat. "Lance…" she said, wheezing between her words. "He forgot…to lock…the door."

The End


End file.
